The Try-It-Again Twos.

So.  I have a two year old.

Most days, she is very sweet, thoughtful, patient, gentle, and kind.

And then some days...she is very, very, VERY, well, two.

I must admit that this age intimidated me a bit thinking ahead when Emery was a baby.  It seemed like the only association with the second year of life that I had heard about was that it is terrible.  Quite terrible, I had heard.  And, in some ways, those predictions and premonitions ring true.

 It hurts my heart if Emery throws a seemingly random fit or if she pushes her best friend or takes a toy from her unsuspecting little sister.  These spotty acts of unkindness do not match up with her consistently gentle, tender heart, and it makes this Mommy very sad to watch her walk through this phase of her little life.

However, I am learning that this stage of toddlerhood is so extremely important in the area of emotional control and management.  If I put myself in Emery's shoes, it would be quite overwhelming to be experiencing so many new emotions and impulses all at once, and, even though she is a pretty articulate little lady, she is still just that: little.  Half of the time, I don't think she even has the slightest clue as to why she might be reacting poorly or falling in a heap of tears in frustration.  Most of the time, she is acting out of a place of heightened emotions that she now has to learn to harness...with our help, of course.  

These sporadic bursts of emotion can mostly be managed with a verbal warning, followed by an apology from Emery to whomever she may have wronged.  On the whole, she is very ready to apologize, hug and kiss, and restore peace.  Then, the next step is what I have found to be most impactful: trying again.  (The book Loving the Little Years includes a great section on this topic in case you are looking for a helpful read...I loved it!)  Whatever the situation happened to be when she displayed unkind behavior, she must try it again the correct way.  Then, when she successfully completes this task, whether it be sharing, being gentle, obeying, etc, she is awarded with praise and affirmation.  I can see that peace has been restored to her little world, and she walks away feeling pretty proud of herself for fixing the situation.

There are times when a time-out is very necessary, and, sadly, there have been a few times when further discipline must be taken, especially when there is direct defiance, etc.  Those times are few and far between, but it is still heartbreaking...for all involved.

I guess my point is that I am realizing just how necessary to life the 'terrible twos' really are.  She is learning her boundaries, how to harness her emotions, and how to try again when she fails.  She is learning to be repentant, how to apologize, and how to be kind.  She is testing her limits, learning the consequences, and realizing when to change or alter her behavior.  And, almost as important, Russell and I are learning our daughter: the sweet, the ornery, the emotional, the kind, the frustrated, the smart, the loving, the whole Emery.

If only these lessons didn't come with a touch of heartache...

...for Mommy.

:)

Here's to the twos.  

May we live to tell about it...

;)

9 Months: A (one day late) Letter.

Sweet Delia Jane,


You are nine months old now!  You've officially spent more time outside of Mommy's tummy than you did inside, and that milestone makes me a little teary.  You are growing up so quickly, and nine months sounds SO BIG!!

Here are some of the highlights of your ninth month.


Growth:
-You weigh 23 pounds and are 29.5 inches long, keeping you at the top of the growth charts.  Not much has changed, and my sore biceps can attest to your beefiness, my dear.  Beautiful beefiness, I might add.  ;)

-For clothes, you wear 12-18 month sizes, and you wear a size 4 diaper.
-You just pulled up for the first time tonight!  You pulled up on the edge of the bathtub (yikes!), and then you did it once more on the edge of the chair.  You were quite impressed with yourself!  :)

-Crawling!  This has been your biggest accomplishment this past month, and you are DEFINITELY mobile, little lady!  You started off very wobbly, but after a few days of crawling around the house (mostly chasing down your big sister), you got the hang of it.  You are quick and love to crawl underneath chairs and your jumper.  You are on the go now!

-You also said your first word this month: DADA!  This word morphed from 'blah blah' to 'Dada', and we love hearing your sweet, precious voice!

Eating:
-Throughout a 24 hour period, you nurse 5 times.  You nurse at 7am, noon, 4pm, 6:30pm, and a dream feeding at 10pm.  I'm pretty sure you do not need that last dream feeding...but I love it and don't want to stop.  :)  I love getting in one last snuggle before going to bed, and you have no idea it's even happening.  

-You nurse on both sides regularly now, and yet it still only takes about 5-10 minutes per nursing session. You are a fast eater...but you are also VERY impatient.  If you are extra hungry or my milk doesn't let down fast enough, you BITE.  Ouchie.  Not good, baby.  You've gotta give me a sec, my dear!  ;)

-Peas, apples with cinnamon and vanilla, bananas mixed with blueberries, carrots, and sweet potato are your favorites right now.  You love crackers of any kind, Mum Mums, and puffs for snacks, and you seem very interested in what your Daddy and I eat.  You'll eat little cheese crumbles, and you've tried a few bites off of my plate here and there.  You love to eat, kiddo!

Sleeping:
-You've dropped a nap over the last few weeks, so now you are officially down to two naps per day.  After waking up for the day around 6:30am, you take your first nap around 9am and sleep for about an hour to an hour and a half.  Your second nap of the day is at 1pm, and you'll sleep for an hour or hour and a half.  

-When you are sleepy, you like to face me and tuck your precious little head into my neck.  You'll wrap your arms around me and snuggle down for a bit.  I LOVE THIS.  I can feel your breath on my neck, and your hair smells so sweet and Delia-ish.  Some of my favorite snuggles happen in your rocking chair in your room.

-Before bed, we'll rock, read a book, sing a song, snuggle...and then you start reaching for your crib.  You are very good at putting yourself to sleep after flopping around and playing with your pacis for awhile.  Sometimes we all just need a little alone time, right Delia?  ;)

-The few and random times that you wake up in the evening or in the middle of night, you work yourself to the corner of your crib closest to the door and you just stare at it while you cry.  It is absolutely pitiful.  You know where to look to see if someone is going to come get you...and I totally do!  It's okay to break the rules every once in awhile.  ;)

Play:
-When you are being funny and flirty, you'll lean in for a nose nuzzle and then just chuckle at yourself for being so hilarious.  I love it.

-You also squish and wrinkle up your little nose when you are laughing or playing with someone, and it is THE cutest little face in the world!  
-Conan hair.  Sometimes your sweet tuft of hair on top of your head gets a little out of control, and you end up looking a little like Conan O'Brien.  It's pretty funny!

-We've noticed that you've started opening and closing your hand when you are anxious or nervous, and sometimes you'll mimic us when we try to get you to wave 'bye-bye'--so cute.
-Anything your sister has, you want.  And vise versa.  Sometimes...this results in pandemonium.  ;)

-If you want my attention from across the room, you'll open your mouth really wide and sort of whisper-shout at me.  We'll go back and forth with this little shout-whisper conversation, and I love it!

-The Paci Pass: when we are settling in for our final snuggle of the night before you go to bed, you'll nurse, we'll read books, and then I turn you around for a snuggle.  Your heavy head will fall to my shoulder for a few minutes, until you push up, take your paci out, and then push it towards my mouth.  You want me to put the handle in my mouth and pass it back to your mouth--so funny!  You'll just smile and chuckle as we pass the paci over and over and over until you just can't hold your head up any longer. So precious.

Events:
-Your Daddy graduated pharmacy school!!!  We went to OKC for his graduation, and, amidst the excitement and chaos, I forgot to snap any pictures of you with your Daddy in his doctoral robes!  Boo.  Oh well, we were so very proud of him.  At one point, we thought we would wait until he was finished with pharmacy school to start a family...I am so glad we changed our plans.  To have you and your big sister as part of our family when he graduated made me even more proud of our little family!

-Weekend at Nama's house!  Mommy and Daddy took a short vacation to Dallas with our good friends, and you spent a weekend at Nama's house with your Schmoo, too.  You actually took most of your bottles from them, and that was an answer to my fervent prayers--yay!  I'm sure you soaked up all of that undivided attention, seeing as your sister was with your Mimi and Papa.  ;)

Sweet little Doodles, we love you with all our hearts.  I ache when I realize how quickly your last nine months have flown by, and I just want to soak you up in any way possible.  You are a treasure, a gift from our Lord.

I'll love you forever,

Mommy

These Days...

Seven years today...

...and not an itch in sight.

;)

Pater Familias.

(First, thank you, sweet readers, for your encouraging comments on my previous blog post.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you guys are awesome.  I appreciate you taking the time to read my ramblings...more than you know.)

Father's Day is coming up, and, as with so many who have lost their dads, I find myself doing some remembering, some crying, some smiling.  I've missed my Dad very much lately, and those feelings surface at the most random moments, it seems.  More than anything, I wish he could have met my two babies, the pride of my life.  He would have loved them.  So so much.

While I hurt when I think about what my Dad is missing, my thoughts then travel towards the Dad's in my life now.  I've been blessed with two great examples of Godly fathers, and my girls will never know just how lucky they are.  Seriously.

My Father-in-Law with Delia on her birthday.

Russell's Dad has never met a stranger and will help anyone at anytime with anything.  Example: as I look around my home, I see Les' hard work poured into our laminate flooring, the square hole I wanted cut between our kitchen and living room to make things feel more open (I catch flack from him for that one still! ;), the large square tiles in the kitchen and bathrooms, the small window I longed for in the master bath, the custom built-ins next to Emery's crib, the kitchen sink and faucet, and so many other odds and ends jobs.  He will drop everything to help others, and he does it all with a jolly spirit.  He loves his wife with all his heart, he loves his kids so much it hurts, and he is smitten with his grandbabies.  Most of all, Les loves the Lord, and that love trickles down to his family and friends in so many little ways.  I am lucky to have him in my life.  We all are.

 My husband and tiny little Delia at the hospital.  

And then there's Russell.  Father to my precious babies.  I am choking back tears thinking about the many ways God blessed ME with this man, the Daddy of my daughters.  He is everything, EVERYTHING I could have wanted for them, and the best part?  He's even more than I could have pictured in a father.  It sounds so contrite, but he would and does do anything for his girls, and I couldn't have chosen a more tender-hearted, strong, faithful, protective, brave, kind, patient, and thoughtful man to place as an example of men before my two girls.  My desperate prayer is that they will have to be extra choosy when someday searching for a mate because of the amazing example their father gave them of a husband, Daddy, and man.  I'm not sure they'll ever understand how lucky and truly blessed they are to have Russell as their Daddy.  What a gift from our Lord is he.  

Happy Father's Day to all of the Grandpas, Dads and those who hope to become Dads soon.

:)

Colored Denim.

It was one of those rare mornings when I got to take a shower, apply make-up (alone), fix my hair (alone), put on an outfit that I'd been excited to wear, and leave the house sans children.  'Twas a beautiful thing, I tell you.  (Props to the hubby for staying with the girls so this Mommy could have a little break.)  I was giddy with excitement to feel footloose and fancy free, and I even indulged in a little Sonic Diet Limeade.  Because, you know, I was feeling wild.  ;)

While I was going through my day, I encountered a friend/acquaintance.  I waved hello.  She looked me up and down, burned a hole through my colored jeans with her stare, and then sarcastically droned, "Wowwwww."

Ouch.

Guess colored denim just wasn't doing it for her.

At first, I had a nice chuckle to myself, because I am usually met with, um, interesting commentary from a select few in my circle of acquaintance whenever I try out a new trend.  While I don't consider myself hip or mod or trendy or anything warranting a picture in People Magazine's style spread, I do enjoy clothes and style and fashion.  I like to try things out on the cheap, so I shop at Forever21, Target and the like.  That way, if, say, the colored denim trend is gone the next season, I won't feel bad for the $8 I spent.  You get my drift.  Trendy on the cheap.  That's my motto.

As I went about the rest of my day, every so often glancing down at my colored denim, I started to realize that I felt deflated a bit.  At the start of my day, I was excited to actually get dressed in something other than leggings and a tunic-T, so I had laid out the outfit the night before, carefully ironing Downy Wrinkle Releasing the creases out of the legs of my jeans.  I'd laid out jewelry, thought about some fun sandals to pull out of hiding from the depths of my closet, and I'd even planned to run a few extra errands before coming home, simply to be out and about in an actual, real-deal outfit.  I was excited to shed my Momiform for the morning and boost my self-confidence with some cute clothes.  Lame?  Maybe.  But I guarantee you that every stay-home Mommy knows what I mean when I say how pumped I was to not wear spit-up as my haute couture accessory for those few hours.

And yet, one comment later, I felt deflated.  Embarrassed.  Wondering if everyone felt as she did.  Wondering if I'm way too un-cool for things so lofty as colored denim and chunky jewelry.  In all reality, that one comment, that one eye-roll sent me reeling back to the dorky days of Junior High where I had it on good authority that my homemade dresses and puffy scrunchies were anything but cool.  That little 12 year old girl appeared once again, insecure, feeling silly, kind of wanting to hide.

I finished up my errands and went home.  The day rolled forward as they usually do, and I sort of forgot about The Comment.  That is, until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the end of the day.  My once-curled hair was now flat and rumpled.  The front (and back!) of my shirt displayed dried spit-up.  The colored jeans I'd so lovingly "ironed" were wrinkled once more, not to mention that I found about 18 snowflake stickers adorning my backside, courtesy of my eldest.

As I stood there, looking at my disheveled self in the mirror, I became frustrated that I'd let her comment weigh me down.  For whatever reason, I usually do not have major struggles with self-confidence, and I believe so much of that is based on Whom I place my faith and trust.  But, alas, the comment weighed me down.  All it took was one snide comment, one shooting glance to make me question myself.  And I hated that.

Self-confidence and worth and true beauty are so very much NOT to be found solely (or even slightly) in outward appearance.  I know this.  I know.  I'm just sharing an honest moment with you.

That morning, I was sure excited to feel pretty.  And instead, I let myself be deflated by one careless remark.

At the close of the day, I flopped into bed to read a bit out of Stasi Eldredge's book, You Are Captivating.  The premise of the book is to encourage mothers as they journey through the slippery slopes of parenthood.  A certain sentence stuck out from that day's reading:

"A woman of true beauty offers others grace to be and room to become."

Grace to be.  Room to become.

I love that.

Now, obviously, the author was not writing a book on how to navigate the slippery slopes of brightly colored jeans and the haters that will follow.  ;)  No, she was encouraging readers to extend grace to those around them, offer space and patience for others to grow and figure out their world, etc.  But, in some small way, I think that concept could be applied to my (significantly less important than child rearing) colored-denim-commentary-conundrum.  Reading that sentence challenged me to walk away from today's experience aware of others instead of awkward, patient instead of passing judgement, kind with my words instead of careless.  What a hard world we live in already.  How I hope that the extension of grace towards others can become a natural part of my life as I go day by day.

Even with regards to jeans.  ;)

Anyway.  Not a big deal.  Nothing compared to the real problems of the world.  Just a weird blip in my day, and mostly I wanted to share the context behind why that passage made such an impact that day.

Perhaps tomorrow, instead of colored denim, I'll try on eyes of grace...and thicker skin.

:)

These Days...

The Hairy Cow Pooped.

Recently, we took our girls to the zoo, and it was such a lovely family day.  The weather was perfect, the girls were in great moods, and we so enjoyed some extra time with Russell who happened to have a day off.

(Babies and their Mum Mum's.  I think I could keep that company going with the amount of grocery budget we spend on Mum Mum's.  :)

(Doodles was in awe of the seals swimming around in their new exhibit.  Mesmerized, I tell you.)

(The token bronze turtle picture.  I think we have about 20 of this very same shot of Emery sitting on top of that turtle.)

(Ghetto-rigging my purse so that it would stay on the stroller.  Success.)

(Falling in love with the seals, too.)

(Thought she'd love the PINK flamingos...I was wrong.  Unimpressed and ready to move on to the snakes.)

(Daddy and his pigtailed girl.)

After such a fun day spent at the zoo, Emery couldn't stop talking about everything she'd seen and done.  She was reliving it over and over to us and to any stranger that she met!  Want to know the story she insisted on repeating most of all?

The hairy highland cow over in the children's zoo area pooped while we were looking at him, and she WILL NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.  Sigh.

So.  The hairy cow pooping was the highlight of our trip according to Emery.  Let's hope mister cow saves his BM's for later the next time we visit our local zoo.

;)