11 Months: A Letter.

My Delia Jane,

Today you are eleven months old, and that means...you'll be ONE YEAR OLD next month.  Good grief, where has the time gone this year??!  You are just a pure delight in our family, and these past eleven months have been some of the sweetest we've ever known.  Here are some of the highlights of your eleventh month.

Growth:

-You weigh 22 pounds and are 31 inches long.  All that crawling, cruising and wrestling with your sister has started to melt away some of your baby chub, and you are looking more and more like a big kid every day.  Stop that.  ;)

-A third tooth came through (FINALLY) up top, and your fourth will be popping through any day now it seems.  Teething hasn't been particularly rough for you, but it has not been fun either.  Your sleep is a bit patchy and punctuated while you are teething, and your personality isn't quite as relaxed while you are in pain.  

-You developed your first ear infection this month in your right ear, and you were just absolutely miserable.  I don't think you let me put you down for about five days straight.  You ran a fever for a few days, didn't want to eat, didn't want to play, and you just looked pretty puny.  Poor baby.  

-Unlucky for you, while you had your ear infection, you and your sister both developed croup at the same time.  Coughing, wheezing, stuffy, miserable girls.  It was a hard couple of weeks for our little crew, especially since Daddy was out of town the entire time.  We were spent by the time he got home!

(This is mid-bye-bye...)

-Words you can say: Dada, bye bye, hi, and Mama...kind of.  Sounds more like "Mmmba mmmba."  But...I'll take it.  Of course!  ;)

-You can wave 'bye-bye' like a pro, you love to clap your hands, and you have started dancing to music.  You'll hear a tune, catch my eye, and then start rocking back and forth slowly.  It is so cute!

Eating:

-This month, you have really started to wean yourself down from breastfeeding, and we are down to about two feedings per day.  You'll nurse in the morning, and then you'll nurse one more time in the late afternoon or evening.  If I try it any other time, it is like wrestling a small animal to get you to do your business.  

-Thusly, you've started taking a bit of milk from a cup this month to replace some of your nursings, and you are doing great!  You prefer a straw cup, and you'll drink about 8-16 ounces of whole milk a day.  

(The 'no more baby food' sassy face...got it, kid.)

-This past month, you SERIOUSLY let us know that you were done being fed any form of baby food from a spoon, and you eat all table food now.  Actually, you still love those veggie pouches, so I won't tell you that they are just baby food in a fancy container.  ;)

-You've begun feeding yourself from a fork, too!  After slapping our hands away when we'd try to feed you with a fork, we just gave it to you...and you did it!  You can't really stab the food on your own yet, but you'll get there.

-We have yet to offer a food that you don't like (here's hoping that lasts...), so I can't even list all of the new foods you've tried this month.  From tuna to roast beef, PB&J to waffles, roasted bell peppers to peas, you're a fan.  

Sleeping:

-Nothing new to report in this category.  You still prefer an early bedtime of 6:30pm, and you wake up consistently between 6:30 and 7am.  You take an hour long morning nap around 9am, and you take a two-ish hour nap in the afternoon at 1pm.  

-You still like to have two pacis in your crib: one for your hand, one for your mouth.

-You sleep in some of the funniest positions!  One of our favorites is when you'll kind of sit up still asleep, and then you'll fold over and face plant back onto the bed with your legs still tucked up under you.  Doesn't look comfortable, but you don't seem to mind!

-Before bed, you really enjoy reading books and being snuggled...but only for a bit.  Once you start reaching for your bed, we know it's time to go night night.

Play:

-Emery has become your best friend and favorite play thing.  You two crack each other up as you hug, kiss, roll around all over each other on the floor, tickle, dance, crawl around the house, and swap toys.  Frequently, an hour will go by with the two of you just playing contentedly with each other without needing Mommy.  You are going to be such good little friends.  Already are.

-Your dance moves have broadened this month to include arm waving and rocking back and forth, and you and your sis love a good dance party!  We rock out to Glee songs and, sadly, Justin Bieber.  You girls LOVE those songs!

-Your bestie, Lydia, loaned you a toy shopping cart, and it has really helped you as you take steps toward walking independently.  You'll push that little cart all over the house, and you are pretty proud of yourself, too.  ;)

-Sadly, you do NOT enjoy wearing bows or headbands.  Too bad, because you've got a lot from which to choose, little lady.  Maybe someday.  

-You are such a snugly little girl.  Always have been.  You'll flop all over me if you need a snuggle, and you are pretty content to be held and cuddled...that is until you see your sister across the room having fun, and then it is necessary for you to join her ASAP.  :)

-You like peek-a-boo, "Super Why" and "Word World" on PBS, any book, the teddy bear on Starfall.com, wrestling, testing the limits on "don't touch"..., putting anything and everything into your mouth, snuggling, wrinkling your nose when you laugh, putting your feet on the roll bar on the double jogger, snacks, dance parties, swinging, and your Daddy.  :)

Events:

-We missed Daddy very much this month as he traveled, but we did get to spend a lot of quality time with Nama, Aunt Schmoo, Mimi and Papa.  They let us come and stay with them, and, although you were very sick the entire time, you enjoyed the snuggles and extra attention from your adoring fans.  We wouldn't have made it through without them!  You have an amazing family, my girl.  Amazing. 

My lovely Delia Jane, you are a precious gift.  Truly.  A gift.  It hurts me to think what our life would be like without you, and I can't imagine a day without your Doodle Bug personality and wrinkly smile.  God blessed us greatly when He loaned us you.

I'll love you forever,
Mommy

Thoughts on Husbandlessness.

Over the past two weeks, my hubby was across the country at officer training as he is now a pharmacist for the Public Health Service division of the military.  This job comes with amazingly awesome benefits, but it also requires him to travel quite a bit this year.  I didn't really want to advertise that he was away from home, but my poor unattended blog was sure proof that I was on my own and too tired at the end of the day for anything other than drooling into a cup and eating my toddler's leftover sandwich crusts for dinner.  ;)  Anyway, he is home for a bit, and the chaos of the previous two weeks left me pondering some of the lessons I learned during my two weeks of husbandlessness.

1.  My husband makes me fat.  Okay, let me rephrase.  When Russell is not here, I don't bother cooking big meals with complicated recipes.  My girls and I can make it on PB&J, veggie pouches (them), fruits of all kinds, and lunch meat.  Delia has just started table food, Emery eats like a bird, and I, apparently, can exist on sandwich crust.  All that to say, I lost three pounds while he was away.  Alas, in my excitement to have him home, so far I've made cinnamon swirl french toast, gigantic peanut butter cookies, and we've had sushi...a lot of sushi.  ;)  I'd take those three pounds back any day if it meant cooking yummy meals for my hubs.  :)

2.  I am not good at asking for help.  In two weeks of husbandless time, our SUV's air conditioner went out in 115 degree temps, my two girls developed croup at the same time, my baby developed a nasty ear infection while in the throes of teething pain, I found a dead mouse in my toilet and a tarantula in my living room, and my sciatic nerve got pinched up causing me to drop my baby it hurt so badly.  Sigh.  In swooped my family and friends to pick up the slack, loan me a car, host us in their homes, bring us meals, mow our yard, keep me company, and check in on us regularly.  What a blessing from God.  I am not good at asking for help, but God sure used these past two weeks to help me work on that little skill, and, lucky for me, I have just about the best group of people surrounding me and my family.  Thankful.  Very thankful.  So thankful it makes me teary.

3.  I am not Super Mom.  Not even close.  I try, but I fail.  During these exhausting weeks, I yelled at my toddler really loudly one time, and it hurt my throat and her heart.  Embarrassed.  I also lost my patience and my focus and my positive attitude more times than I want to count.  For the most part, I held it together pretty well.  But, I did not score a 100% in the Mom of the Year category, and I wish I could take a few select moments back.

4.  At night, every bump or noise equals rapists trying break in and pillage my home.  Obviously.  Me and my little mace gun spent a lot of quality time together these past few weeks, and, although I never had to use it, I was ready.  Oooooh was I ready.  ;)

5.  Russell is my bestie.  I know marriage is made up of many facets: lovers, friends,  companions, parenting together, accountability partners, etc.  It took him being away for two weeks for me to realize that he has truly morphed into my best friend.  We are lovers, we are parents together, we are companions in our home, and we've always been friends.  In fact, we were pretty good friends for about three years before we even began dating.  Friendship has always been at the forefront of our relationship.  But, wow.  I missed this part of "us" so very much while he was gone.  Our inside jokes, our goofy secret language, our evenings spent snuggled up in bed talking and watching DVD reruns, and so many other little things that I can't even describe.  I missed my lover, yes.  Very much.  But, almost more than that, I missed my friend.  My bestie.  ;)

Well, there you have it.  Some reflections on husbandlessness.  I realize that SO many women have to go it alone for a lot longer than I did for varied reasons.  I get it.  And my Super Mom Cape is off to them.  ;)  But in our little world, having Russell gone was huge.  Just plain huge.  We made it.  We did.  But I don't like doing life without him.  Not one bit.

Welcome home, love!

:)

These Days...

#2 Q.

(Thanks for your sweet comments on my poem post...you guys are nice.)

And now, oh great blog-o-sphere, I come to you with a very important question.

A question...about poo.

You see, my two year old has been making great strides in the world of potty training over the past month or so since we began.  She has mastered the art of #1 with only a handful of accidents over the last few weeks, although I do keep her in a pull-up for sleepy times.  She stays dry during her naps about 75% of the time, but there is no way she's ready for overnight diaper-less-ness.  And I'm okay with that.  No huge rush.  We are in the zone, and she's even able to finagle with her shorts and panties on her own, use her potty without being reminded, and then she'll wash her hands unassisted-ish.  Go, E!

However.

I'm not so sure what to do about the elusive #2.  The very first time she did it on her little potty, she didn't realize what was happening, looked down, and started screaming that there was a brown snake in her potty.

Sigh.

That was about a month ago, and we've only had success with #2's maybe two other times...with much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Usually, she just, um, saves it (?) till her nap time or at night, and she has had a couple of accidents in her cute ballerina panties, too.  

Thus, my question: how did you work towards training your preschooler to go #2 in the potty?  

(I know.  Deep blog post today, folks.  You gotta do what you gotta do, you know?)

Anyway, like I said, we aren't in a huge rush, but I'm not really sure how to even work on this with her since she poops while she's sleeping and isn't even aware of what she's doing.  Hmm.

Thoughts?  Tips?  Brilliant suggestions?  The location of a top secret Potty Training Boot Camp to which I could send her?!?

;)

Porcelain Ballerina.

[Side note: I am so nervous about this post.]  

I was cleaning out my bedside table the other day and came across something that catapulted me straight back into my college days.  It was my copy of OBU's 2004 Scriblerus, a compilation book of poetry and short stories that had been entered into our campus-wide writing competition and had won.  I was an English Education major at OBU at the time, and now I look back with the fondest of memories on those days spent delving into books while sipping coffee with my friends.  WHAT A LIFE!  Oh wow. I had no idea just how good we had it back then.  ;)

Anyway, it just so happens that I entered two poems into the competition that year, and I actually took third place with one of them.  The other poem was included, with a handful of others, in the honorable mention section.

Rereading my own words right there on the pages of the book, I started to tear up a little.  Sometimes, in the daily grind of wiping little bottoms and noses, preparing endless meals and sippy cups and snacks, cleaning and re-cleaning and re-cleaning my home to no avail, and being too tired at the end of the day to do any sort of cerebral reading, I forget that I used to be a writer.  A reader.  A studier.  A literary analyzer.  A contemplative thinker.  A lover of Jane Austen, The Great Gatsby, Shakespeare, and Garcia Marquez.  I used to hunger for books, thirst for knowledge outside of my tiny sphere of influence, and yearn for more more more reading, thinking, discussing, wondering.

And now, in this season of life, I feel like that part of me has gone into hibernation in a sense.  Not for one millisecond would I trade my life now for my life back then.  No way.  No, sir.

However, finding my "award-winning" poem (albeit a very small reward at that) reminded me about a part of myself that I'd all but forgotten amidst gestating, breastfeeding, diaper changing, and baby schlepping.  I am so proud of my little poems.  I wrote those.  I made them.  I worked for weeks on them.  I edited and re-edited them.  I thought about their words, their punctuation, and even their shapes.  I woke up from sleep thinking about them.  I nervously carried them to the submission box.  I proudly read them aloud at the awards ceremony.  At a naive 20 years old, I made teeny, tiny, itty, bitty pieces of art, and someone out there noticed.

Anyway, do you want to know what I treasure most about my poems?  The entries were submitted anonymously, but, after the judges chose the winners, the authors' names were revealed.  After judging and awarding was over, one of my professors who was on the judging panel took the time to email me and let me know that he had voted for my poem to take first place.  He went into great detail about what he respected in my writing, and I will never, never forget that email.  Someone saw my art, and they liked it.

I hope you will, too.

This poem is a reflection on the extremely rigid discipline I learned throughout my years as a ballet student and performer.  To me, ballet is irony at it's finest.



Porcelain Ballerina
by Erin Kern


Head directly forward, chin parallel to the floor, brows up,
mouth smiling, teeth touching;
Shoulders pushed back, never raised, a perfectly even line
from ear to ear;
Arms lifted, taut with palms slightly curved down, fingers
relaxed;
Back gently arched, erect, never slumping, curving,
slouching;
Stomach forever sucked in, sucked in tight, sucking,
sucking;
Buttocks firmly clenched, hips in, square to audience, never
thrust out;
Knees poised for movement, turned out, bent slightly, at
no time locked;
Feet, toes eternally pointed, arches raised from the floor,
retain perfect turn-out;


Now, freely dance.